Love without a Touch

"I hate you. I hate you till my death." she yelled. "Means in our after life you'll love me again, right ?" he said in his crackling voice, as she slammed the door on his face.

These things were new for him but not completely. He knew that things are not going as smooth as they were three years ago. But still, after all, it was his first time being in love. First time when he felt connected. When someone could relate to him. For him she was not just a girl with whom he can spend some time, have a conversation about literally anything or at times get a little naught with. She came in her life as a ray of light. She was a hope. A hope for him to be happy. A reason to smile.

After loosing his parents in an accident in his teenage life. The time of age, when all he wanted was to stay away from them. To live without any restrictions. When their love was irritating, their care was too much for him to handle. When everything they (his parents) say was either wrong, boring or stupid, he lost them.

Now, the only question he left with was whom to blame when his last conversation with them was like this-

"I don't need you in my life. Stop interfering. I can take my decisions and I can take care of myself."

Obviously, he took all on himself. Regretted everything he said but he never get the courage to move on from this until She entered in his life.

But as they say,"What goes around, comes around" or "As you sow, so shall you reap." He knew that Karma is still waiting for the right moment to teach him a new lesson. And that's why he was already prepared, not completely but still, loosing it in his mind, feeling numb yet ready deal with it.

As it was the first time when he was not blushing while exiting from her house. When instead of being happy and having a shine in his eyes, like the one you can always find in a sports person who won a gold medal in Olympics, or a little child who just got his favorite video game, all he had were wet eyes, red nose and a disappointed face. Although, his house was only 10 minute away from hers, but that day it took him hours to come back and months to get back in his routine.

Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

After all that, he was left with only two choices - one, go on a journey of guilt and emotional breakdown. Feel bad and start to hate himself again. Regret being alive and die of depression. He could return to that dark place from where she took him out.

Or keeping his faith in KARMA he could accept everything that happened between them. Consider it as a result of what he did. Instead of blaming yourself for past and blaming her for how she reacted, he could simply thank her. For understanding him, helping him heal, trusting him more than he used to do on himself, for spending three years of great time with him, for giving him so much more than what he could ever ask for or even think of.

It's the second choice that I'd like to call "Love without a Touch."

Why is that ? Simple, because he is living the way she wanted.

How's that ? Well, first she rescued him from all the darkness and then she almost changed him in a new person by changing his behavior, his habits, his lifestyle, everything. And that's why he staying away from all that darkness is him loving her.

'Cause if he could do that alone by himself without her help, he would have done that before she entered in his life. And this is it. He is not in her contact, but he is still following all the good lessons she taught him. Living with all the new and improved version of himself in which she left you, that's the love without a touch.

I believe that's how one should go about a situation, when for whatever reason, you love him/her but you can't be with them. When they loved you, helped you in so many ways but can't be with you anymore for any reason whatsoever.

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The Divine becomes The Devil