It Starts with You (Why we care more about others than for ourself)

Do you remember the time when you did something for someone out of your generosity or may be because you like that person or may be it's something that you like to do for others. So much so,t you did it for them without them even realizing that they needed it but when they received it, they eventually loved it. 

                       Now, it could be anything, from food that you gave to the labors to that cute pencil boxes that you gave in the orphanage. From the moral support to your family to your kind words that your friend needed when going through a rough time. Your advice, emotional support or ear that you lend to your friend, your care or most importantly your time, your presence that lighten up someone's mood, that made them release even just a little bit of stress and relax. Any of these that you did for someone, do you remember how does that make you feel ? Good, right ? It made you feel good. 

Photo by Saltanat Zhursinbek on Unsplash

                          You were smiling, laughing with them may be. Specially, if you ever celebrated your birthday with those orphanage children, or labors by giving them anything that you could afford, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about. Not just the gifts or the food but the time that you shared with them. Isn't that one of the best moment of your life ? Even if everything didn't go the way you wanted, it was all so wholesome wasn't it ? It was, right ?

                          Or if you supported any of your family member, your friend, your sibling when they ended up in a situation they don't understand how to handle or your parents when they needed a little hug or something to not feel worthless and just as a money machine. Do you remember how that made you feel ? More importantly, do you remember how that made them feel ? Wasn't it a sigh of relief, a sense of affinity, a warmness that you both shared and made that relation special. And all of the same made you feel that you are an important member of the family, an important part of that person's life. You felt important and you liked it, right ??

 

                          Similarly, if you ever gave a suggestion to someone that helped that person or just you listening to them which made them feel heard and they felt better by sharing it with you or may be just by your presence. Just you being there, your assurance that you are there to back them up, to listen to them and no matter what happen and what decision they take, whatever path they choose, you'll be there with them to listen, guide or suggest. Do you remember how great your assurance made them feel ? It also is possible that they don't tell you how much it mean to them but you can clearly see it in the way they talk to you next time, unless they are just self-absorbed narcissist fucks. Well then still, you have a choice of helping them or unlink them from the account of your life.

                             But still in general, any of these things that you ever did, made you feel as you have a meaning in your life. As you are not a worthless piece of meat, a burden on earth that's just there existing for no reason. It made you feel that there is something important in you that other people might need, that other people can make use of. Something that they don't have but you do, at least that's what you believe, so you give it to them, share it with them and feel meaningful, important and worthy of existing. And thus, feeling good.

                             Now here is the important part, what you do when a certain action of yours make you feel good. You repeat that action, right ? It's like a drug, once you taste it, you always want more of it. So, you help. You reach out to people, check on them, see what they need and fill them with it. You begin to provide things to people, most importantly your time. And you indulge so much in doing good for people that you forget the most important term of this formula of feeling good i.e. YOU.

                              How, you may ask. Well, here is how... In order for you to feel good, you need to help others (which is a very weird kind of dependency, will talk about it some other day) and in order to help others, to provide them something, be it physical things like food or gifts or other things like your presence, your love, happiness, your time or in short Your Energy, you need to have it with you. If you aren't able to afford it for yourself, you would clearly not be able to share it with them. And that's why, "It Starts with You."

                                Now, this bring us to the next question i.e. how ? What should we do to feel alive and full of energy so that even when we share it with others and make them feel better, we still never go low on it. We never feel like we need someone to charge our-self. And that's something that no one shares. They all instruct you to do this and that but what they never share is how to do it and that's exactly what we are going to talk about in the next article. Till then, remember, It's You, who can bring change in a person's life, even if it's yours. 

Thanks for your time. Peace.