Can Love be Forever ??

In a time when everyone is at the verge of their patience, calmness and mental peace, we all sometimes wonder, "Is loving someone truly and whole heartedly worth it anymore ? " In such a fast pacing society will we ever find someone who give us the time we need, the patience we require and the understanding that we both develop towards each other's thoughts, beliefs and behaviors.

More importantly, even if by God's grace and the good deeds in all our past lifes, we find that special, our "One and Only", will it stay forever ?? Will the love between us always be there or will it slowly lead toward lies, promises, irritation, resentment, conforming and after a LOT of sacrifices, finally emptiness and then finding reasons to stay happy in such conditions while being together.

Well, a short and simple answer will be, No. Love will not, can not and will never stay forever. However, you might always stay with them, live with them and even get a few moments here and there that light you up once in a while, but labelling all that as love is nothing but your acceptance of all these situations. It clearly shows how mature you are and how much dedicatedly you want this relationship to work out and stay forever. With this level of efforts, you might even succeed in it but deep down you know for a reason, that's not how love feels like.

So, am I saying that you should leave them and find someone better for yourself ?? Noooo, not at all. But if that thought crossed your mind even for a second then may be, yes. Because loving someone is the first thing you experience. It's also the best one you ever going to get. But living with them that too for the rest of your life can be a nightmare.

Anyways, coming back to the point, Love is a Physiological Motivation i.e. The motivation to satisfy the basic physiological needs of the body. Meaning, just like hunger and thirst which can be fulfilled by food and water, Love is a necessary element we need for our body to grow healthy, both physically and mentally.

It is also very important to understand that sex is also a physiological motivation but it can be fulfilled by any other human body whilst in case of love, researchers found that it can only be fulfilled by that one special person with whom the subject claim to be in Love.

Now that you know how important love can be for our body's overall development, specially in growth years, let's take some help of science to understand why Love can not be forever and also if not love then why and how a person can spend their whole life with just one person.

In terms of Psychology and on the basis of Scientific Research submitted by Enrique Burunat, School of Health Sciences, Psychobiology, University of La Laguna, Tenerife, Spain.

Love is a physiological motivation which changes the brain and not only a physiological state similar to other feelings. Love is different from the other motivations due to its origin, its neurobiological substratum and the nature of the imbalance of the homeostasis from which it originates.

The physiological motivations exist to maintain the homeostasis, the balance of the internal system. Essential for this is the activation of midbrain ventral tegmental area, which is active in all motivated behaviors, such as hunger, thirst, sex and sleep and is also active in love. The midbrain even regulates addictive states in other drugs and behavioral induced addictions which means addictions, obsessions and love are very closely related in our brain.

In the same way as in addiction to opiates, cocaine and other drugs and the newer addictions to the smartphones, the internet, internet gaming and pornography are evidence of spurious activations of love circuits, i.e. activation of similar brain circuits which have been also associated with love and the pleasure that comes with it. Indeed, intense, passionate, romantic love can be understood as a natural addiction.

Photo by Renate Vanaga on Unsplash 

On the basis of this research, to sum it all up in simple words, we can clearly say that love itself is a physiological motivation and just like hunger get satisfied by food, thirst by water, sex by another body, love too can be satisfied by a person of special importance. The only difference is that, when other physiological motivations get satisfied we feel full, calm, relaxed or pleasurous while in case of Love, our body release hormones that get us addicted to the person who insinuate it in us. And what does an addict do ? They are ready to sacrifice all their money, health and even relations with friends and family. They do everything they can to sniff that stuff one more time. And that my friend is how people stay with just one person whole life. They sacrifice and adjust to stay with their special person forever. The effect of this natural drug can be seen even in an eighty year old couple. 

So, it's not the love that stays forever but the after effect, the consequence of love that triggers the love circuit is. In a negative aspect, it's one of the main reason why people like to stay in an abusive relationship as well.

Hopefully, this gave you an insight and now that you are here, you have a little more than what you came with. If you liked it or find it valuable, please do consider sharing & following from your google account as it takes a lot of time and effort to research and write these articles. Your shares will keep me motivated to write these more frequently. Expecting a little more from you guys as I know you all are amazing.